I am a bleeding heart
by JustMe-Liz
Summary: Set after prom, s3. What if Derek was in Addison's hotel room, but instead of Mark it was Alex who stepped out of the shower? And will Alex and Addison succeed in a relationship or will Derek win her back? Addek or Addisex... Final chapter now up.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I am a masochist. Seriously, I am. Because it's not like I have time to write when I'm at uni. And yet… here is another fic. The idea didn't want to leave me though.**

**  
Also it started out as a one shot, but it's not anymore. Sigh. The story of my life.**

**Oh and it's set in I Am A Tree, where Derek goes to Addie's hotel room and Mark comes out of the shower. Only it's not Mark**

**I clearly own nothing.**

**I hope you enjoy, don't be ashamed to review. Thanks.**

* * *

Addison swiftly opens the door, the smile freezing on her face when she sees Derek.

"I thought you were roomservice."

"I… can I come in?"

She looks back at the empty room over her shoulder, biting down on her lower lip.

"Why?"

"Because… we need to talk, Addie."

"Oh really? What do we need to talk about?"

"About… what happened between us… about everything."

She tries to block the door without success, but he pushes past her, frowning when he notices the glass of champagne on the bedside table.

"Not what I thought you'd be drinking tonight."

She lifts a brow before sitting down on the bed, lifting the glass to her lips, exposing a great deal of her long slender leg. Derek watches her intently, unable to be comprehend how he could have stopped loving her. She tilts her head, looking at him coldly.

"What did you want to say to me? Because I don't really have anything to say to you."

"I just… I'm sorry Addison. About everything."

"No, Derek. You're not sorry."

"I am."

"You're not."

"Addison…"

He sighs, slowly nodding.

"I guess… I don't know, I… Our marriage is over, isn't it?"

"Yeah… yeah, it is."

"I… I am sorry, Addison. About… about the panties and… you deserved better than that. I'm sorry for doing that to you."

"You should go, Derek."

"Addie, I…"

He sighs again, shaking his head.

"This is just… incredibly sad. Eleven years of marriage… almost twelve and…"

The bathroom door suddenly opens and Derek looks up in shock.

"Karev?"

Alex ignores Derek, looking at Addison quizzically.

"What's he doing here?"

Addison closes her eyes, sighing.

"Alex… he's just…"

"What, making you feel even worse about yourself?"

"Excuse me?"

Derek stands up, looking at Alex angrily.

"Where the hell do you get off saying things that…"

"Where the hell do you get off pitching up at Addison's hotel room at this hour? After everything you've done to her?"

"How dare you…"

"No. Just… shut the hell up and get out of here."

"Alex!"

Addison's voice causes him to turn his head and keeps him from seeing Derek's fist flying towards his face. He turns back when Derek's fist connects with his face, hitting him back with the force of a professional wrestler.

"Alex, stop it…"

Addison rushes forward, trying to pull the two men away from each other without any success.

"Alex! Derek!"

They finally respond to the sound of her voice and she looks at them angrily.

"Derek just… get out."

"Addie…"  
"Don't. Don't call me Addie. Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me. Just… get out."

He sighs, finally leaving, his shoulders slumped and Addison turns to Alex, frowning.

"Karev! What the hell was that all about?"

He looks back at her fiercely.

"If you're expecting an apology… well I hate to disappoint you, but… you're not getting one. Because I'm not sorry."

"I just… why did you do that?"

"Because…"

"Yeah?"

He sighs, quickly touching her face before drawing back

"Because I saw the look on your face when I stepped into the room and… and I knew he was responsible for it."

Addison hesitates for a moment before capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

"Thank you. That was really thoughtful of you, Alex."

He grins against her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I try my best."

She laughs, grinning as well.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm really glad you're the one I ran into at Joe's."

He runs his fingers through her hair, looking at her earnestly.  
"So am I."

**_FLASHBACK:_**

_"Hey Alex. Bad day?"_

_Alex looks at Joe irritably, shaking his head._

_"I am going to murder my boss."_

_"Your boss? The chief?"_

_"No. Dr Montgomery."_

_"Addison?"_

_Alex nods and Joe looks at him curiously._

_"Why?"_

_"She's just… it's like her hobby in life is to ruin mine! She won't let me out of Gynie and she won't let me go near the O.R… She's a horrible bitch."_

_Joe frowns slightly, shaking his head._

_"Cut her some slack, Alex… she's going through a rough time."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_Joe looks at him with a slight frown._

_"Have you been living under a rock?"_

_Alex shrugs, not willing to admit the truth… yes, he knows there had been rumours circulating the Seattle Grace halls. But he had been too obsessed, too worried about Izzie. A lot of great that did him, since she turned him down…_

_"No, I've just… Joe, just tell me what you're talking about."_

_Joe leans closer to Alex, lifting a brow._

_"You didn't hear it from me… but apparently, Addison found a pair of panties in Derek's tux the night at the prom."_

_"Meredith?"_

_"Who else?"_

_Alex shakes his head, frowning slightly._

_"Wow… surely she… no one deserves that. She didn't deserve that…"_

_Alex and Joe turn their heads as the door opens and Addison stumbles in, clearly wasted. She falls down in the chair next to Alex, looking at Joe pleadingly._

_"Anything, Joe. As long as it's strong."_

_"Addison…"_

_Alex puts a hand on her upper arm, frowning slightly._

_"Dr Montgomery…"_

_"Karev!"_

_She looks at him, grinning drunkenly._

_"You look hot."_

_"You're drunk…"_

_She leans closer to him, her lips almost touching his. Alex looks at her, his heart instantly beating faster._

_Okay, so he hates her._

_Still… she's hot._

_Very hot._

_And the more he thinks about the fact that he hates her, the more he realises that maybe he doesn't. Because if he did… the fact that her lips were now centimetres from his wouldn't matter._

_If he hated her, he wouldn't want to kiss her more than anything…_

_But…_

_She's drunk._

_And it would be taking advantage of a hurt, drunk woman._

_Who happens to be his amazingly hot boss._

_"Hey, how about I get you a cup of coffee?"_

_He looks at her sincerely and she laughs bitterly._

_"Now you see, that would make me remember how painfully pitiful my life is and I'd like keeping those thoughts away, Karev."_

_"Come on, your life is not that bad."  
She laughs again, tears welling up in her eyes._

_"You know what? Sadly… it is."_

_He stands up, taking her hand._

_"I think you've had enough for one day. Let me take you home."_

**Xxxx**

"Alex?"

Addison's voice is suddenly very small and insecure, and he looks at her softly.

"Yeah?"

She moves a bit closer to him, resting her head on his bare chest.

"Not that I really mind, because tonight was… great, I just… why? Why were you so… nice to me?"

He laughs suddenly, rubbing her back with his right hand while the left tangles itself in her hair.

"Do you want the truth?"

She nods against his chest and he smiles.

"Okay… I guess that… tonight at Joe's… I kind of fell sorry for you. This drunk woman who is hurting… and who happens to be my boss. But later on… after spending time here, after talking to you I just… I realised you were human. A woman. One who… was charming and fun and… gorgeous."

She laughs, shaking her head.

"I was sobbing with mascara streaks all over my face! I must have looked horrible!"  
He looks at her seriously, shaking his head.

"No. You looked beautiful. You always do."

She lifts her head up to brush her lips against his.

"Thanks. Who knew you could be such a romantic?"

**_FLASHBACK:_**

_Alex unlocks the door carefully, balancing a stumbling Addison on the other arm. They finally make it into the room, Addison immediately crashing down on the bed and closing her eyes._

_"I should go…"_

_Alex looks at her nervously and she simply shrugs. He sighs, frowning slightly._

_"Look… I'm going to make you a cup of coffee, okay?"_

_"Do whatever you want to, Karev."_

_He sighs before moving into the kitchen, lifting a brow._

_"So you live in a hotel suite? It must cost a fortune."_

_"Yeah. It does."_

_He finally returns to her, holding two cups of coffee, sitting down next to her carefully._

_"It's hot."_

_She nods before taking a sip, immediately pulling a face.  
"Damn it, Karev! Have you ever made coffee before? This is horrible!"_

_He laughs, shrugging slightly._

_"I'm sorry but… you need it strong."_

_She sighs, taking another sip._

_"I guess… I just… I deserved to drink this much today, Karev. Just today."_

_"Yeah… I guess you did."_

_She shakes her head, tears finally making their way down her cheeks._

_"I guess this is what I deserve…"_

_"No! Addison, no one deserves this."  
She smirks sadly, shrugging._

_"I did sleep with his best friend."_

_"Oh. And did you leave his panties in your suit for Derek to find?"_

_She laughs, impulsively resting her hand against Alex's cheek._

_"You… are one of a kind, you realise that right?"_

_"Oh?"_

_"You act like you're so tough, but deep down… you're a decent guy, Alex."_

_He has to fight the sudden urge to kiss her and opts for laughter._

_"Just don't tell anyone, okay?"_

_She leans forward slightly, brushing her lips against his._

_"Don't worry. I won't."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the feedback! And… I still haven't decided whether this is going to be Addek or Addex in the end but there will be sufficient Addex and Addek throughout the fic – if that makes sense. I honestly hope you enjoy this and please – do tell what you think!**

* * *

"Okay, so now it's my turn to ask you a question."  
Alex looks at

Addison seriously and she looks back at him, frowning nervously.

"Okay?"

"Did you… the sex. Was it just… just because you needed sex? Would it have happened if I were another guy? Just… some guy you picked up in a bar?"

She quirks an eyebrow, smirking at him.

"Do I look like Meredith Grey?"

"I'm serious, Addison."

"Alex… At the moment… I don't know. I'm not really sure about anything. I just… I… Drunk as I was, I did not plan on having sex with my intern. But then… you were here and one minute we were talking and then… everything just seemed right."

"Where do we go from here?"

She laughs, looking at him teasingly.

"Isn't it usually the girl who asks that question?"

"Well yes. But you weren't asking it, so I decided I would."

She rolls to her side, popping her head up on her elbow to get a better look of the guy next to her.

The very handsome, very naked guy.

Who happened to be her intern. Her annoying, rude, obnoxious intern.

Who'd been totally kind and sweet and perfect tonight.

"I have no idea."

"So…"  
"Where… Where do you want us to go from here?"  
"Well…"

Alex lazily drapes an arm over her waist, looking at her seriously.

"Tonight was… amazing. And… to be honest, I'd kind of like a repeat of it…"

"Oh yeah?"

He leans over, kissing her softly.

"Yeah."

She pulls away from the kiss, looking at him worriedly.

"Okay, so… how are we going to do this? Booty calls once a week? Friends with benefits?"

"I guess… I don't know. I mean… I've never really been… in a position like this, it's kind of new to me and…"

"What… are you trying to say, Alex?"

"I want… I guess… I want a relationship."

She sits up quickly, pulling the covers with her – in doing so, exposing a hell of a lot of Alex's magnificent body.

"A relationship?"

"We could… try, couldn't we? It doesn't have to be official… or exclusive for that matter, but… we could try."

"Alex… you're… you're my intern."

"Like that hasn't been done before!"

"I just… I'm not even divorced yet and…"

"Addison… I'm lying in your bed. Naked. Why are you making excuses?"

She manages in tearing her eyes away from his body, staring at the wall.

"I just think… it's too soon for me to be in a relationship."

"Fine."

She feels him getting up from the bed, hears him getting dressed behind her. It doesn't register before she notices him making his way to the door.

"Alex…"

"Save it."

"Alex, I…"

Addison gets up, folding the covers around her body, grabbing onto his arm.

"We can talk about this, figure something out!"

"Like what? Booty calls and no commitment like you had with Sloan? Having me over to fuck while you imagine Derek the whole time?"

She lets go of him quickly, her eyes blazing fire.

"You can leave now, Karev. I think you've said enough."

He steps forward, his face mere inches from her.

"Too close for comfort, Dr Montgomery? Does the truth hurt?"

Her hand flies through the air, resting on his cheek fleetingly before she smirks.

"If I imagined my ex husband, Dr Karev… then the blame is all on you."

She closes the door in his face and he rests his forehead against the wall for a few seconds.

"I see where you get your nickname from, Dr Satan. You just wait… this isn't over yet."

* * *

She was with Karev.

He has no recollection of how he made it to the trailer, but he made it. And now he's sitting outside, nursing a Scotch and wondering how the hell he managed to screw up his life this badly.

"I want Meredith."

The words sound terrifyingly empty against the night and he sighs, unable to wonder… if this was true… why did he mind Karev touching Addison?

Why was the thought of Alex Karev's hands on Addison burning through him like a raging fire, threatening to consume him completely?

He swallows down the rest of the Scotch, sighing when it burns a down his throat.

Meredith.

He was sure that he loved her. Why else would the prom have happened? Yes, he loved Meredith Grey.

He left Meredith Grey's underwear in his jacket for his wife to find.

His wife who was now in a hotel room… probably with Alex Karev doing who knows what…

Derek suddenly stands up, grabbing his car keys.

Alcohol made him brave… it always made him do things that he normally wouldn't have the guts for.

* * *

Addison

groans when there's a loud knock on her door, burying her face in the pillows.

"Go away."

"Addison?"

She sits up instantly, recognizing his voice.

"Derek?"

Against her better judgement, she stands up, opening the door slightly.

"What do you want?"

He doesn't answer her. Instead, he enters the room, crashing his lips against hers violently, running his hands up and down her back and…

Addison pushes him away angrily, glaring at him.

"Get out."

"Addie…"  
"GET OUT OF HERE!"

He stares at her, dumfound by the anger in her eyes.

"What, you think you can just show up here drunk, kiss me and expect everything to be all right again? You really think it works like that?"

"Addison… I made a mistake, okay? I realised that when… I just… I need you Addie."

She smirks, glaring at him.

"You realised it when… what, you saw that someone was interested in me? That I could actually move on without you?"

"I…"

She pushes him out of the door, glaring angrily.

"Go to Meredith, Derek. Or better yet – go to hell."

She closes the door in his stunned face before sliding down against it, tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm not letting him use me. Not again. I'm not going back there. I'm not doing that to myself…"

* * *

Derek stares at the door silently, shocked sober. He sighs, staring at the wood silently for a while before smiling softly.

"This isn't over, Addie. I'm going to fight this time…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again - thanks for the reviews. Well, I've decided that I'm not going to decide whether it's gonna be Addek or Addisex until the end. So... yeah. Hope you enjoy this little chapter. I have a little bit of both ships in it for you...**

**I own nothing, I promise.**

* * *

"Good morning,

Addison."

Addison stares at Derek gloomily, lifting a brow.

"You are freakishly chirpy today."

"That I am."

She ignores him, getting onto the elevator without another word, groaning when Derek enters, standing closely behind her.

"What are you doing?"

He wipes her hair away from her neck, pressing a soft kiss on the exposed skin.

"I'm coming with you…"

"I'm going up to Neonatal."

"I know."

"So last time I checked, you didn't work there."

He laughs, quickly squeezing her shoulder.

"You're funny."

"Oh really? My intention was to be rude."

The elevator finally stops and Addison rushes out, followed by Derek. She groans inwardly when she notices Alex walking towards her with what could only be described as a pure evil smile on his face.

"Hey, Addie."

"Alex… I wan…"

She's cut off by his mouth crashing onto hers, his hands running up and down her back, his body pressing against her and…

She pulls away when Derek loudly clears his throat behind them, looking flustered.

"Well… good morning to you too, Dr Karev."

Alex winks at her before smirking at Derek.

"Good to see you, Dr Shepherd. And Dr Montgomery… I believe we'll continue our… discussion… later."

"Eh… sure. Yeah."

He kisses her cheek softly before walking off and Derek looks at her angrily.

"Addison, what the hell was that?"

"That… was Alex kissing me."

"It was a one night stand!"

She turns to face him, arching a brow.

"That's what you assumed, Derek."

"What are you saying?"

"He wants more."

"What about you?"

"I want… to get through this divorce, Derek. That's what I want."

Before she can comprehend another thought, he is kissing her gently and it's Derek and she can't really do anything but kiss him back, because it feels so right.. until she remembers.

Remembers the prom.

And the panties… and she pushes him away, shaking her head.

"I can't do this."

"Are you sure the divorce is really what you want, Addie?"

"No… I'm not sure about that."

He moves closer to kiss her again, but she places her hand against his chest, pushing him away.

"I'm sure that it's what I need though."

"You… you need to divorce me?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand…"

"Derek… we're done. This marriage… is done."

"But I… Addie, it was a mistake. I still love you. We can start over."

"I can't be married to you anymore, Derek. I'm sorry."

She rushes off, walking as fast as she can – ignoring every intern, every nurse staring at her. Just walking… until she finds the bathroom, closing the door and sinking down to the ground.

Only then, with no witnesses present, she allows herself to cry about the mess her life has become.

* * *

"So Alex told me he wanted more and then Derek showed up apparently needing me and then I was alone, crying the whole night not having a clue how I was going to find the strength to come to work today. When I finally mustered that strength and decided to come, Alex kissed me. Then Derek kissed me. And I just don't know what to do."

Callie looks at her friend sympathetically.

"Wow… I don't know what to say…"

"I mean… with Alex… he just surprised me, you know… He made me feel so special and important and… he was different you know. Gentle… sweet… But Derek… I can't remember what it feels like not to love him. I can't just stop."

Callie looks at her friend for a long time, smiling when Bailey joins them at the table.

"Ah. You can help!"

"With what?"

"Addison has a situation."

"What kinda situation?"

"She had sex with Karev."

"CALLIE! I told you that in confidence!"

"Please, Addison. Derek walked in. Trust me. It's not going to stay a secret."

Bailey stares at the redhead in shock.

"Awe, you did the nasty with one of my suck ups? Hell no!"

Addison buries her face in her arms, a muffled sound escaping from her lips.

"My life is so over."

Bailey looks at Callie with a frown.

"What's happening?"

"Alex and Addison had sex. Derek walked in on them. Kind of. Alex told Addison he wants more. Derek comes back and tells Addison he needs her. At work today Alex kisses her. Then Derek kisses her. Confusion alert."

"Oh."

Addison looks up again, frowning.

"If I had some switch… some way of turning my love for Derek off, I would so do it. But I can't…"

"So you still love McDreamy?"

"Yes…"

Bailey simply shrugs.

"There's your answer."

Callie frowns, shaking her head.

"Hang on now… what about these lines of deliciousness that is Karev?"

"What about Karev?"

Callie turns away from Bailey, looking at Addison.

"Addison, do you love Alex?"

"Well… no, but… I could."

"See, Torres… she doesn't love him."

"But she could."

"But she doesn't."

"Yeah and he didn't hurt her the way Derek did!"

"But he could."

"What if he doesn't?"

"What if he does?"

"What if Derek goes back to being indifferent and hurts her all over?"

"What if Karev gets tired of a relationship and decides he wants to play the field some more?"

"What if Derek goes back to the skanky intern?"

"What if he is in this for real this time."

"Oh, isn't that what he promised last time?"

"Everybody makes mistakes!"

"He had sex with his mistress while Addison was down the hall!"

Addison sighs, staring at her two friends.

"Okay, so you realise this really isn't helping, right?"

Bailey and Callie stop their bickering immediately, looking at Addison warmly. Callie reaches out, placing her hand on Addison's arm.

"Oh, Addie… you realise whatever you decide… we'll support you. Right, Miranda?"

"Of course, Calliope."

Addison smiles at her friends, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Thanks guys. I'm just… going to take a nap. I'm beat."

"Okay… see you."

"Yeah…"

She walks off slowly and Callie turns to Bailey again.

"I still think she's better off with Karev."

"My money's on Derek."

"Wanna bet on it?"

"I am not betting on my friend's life… Although… how much are we talking about?"

* * *

"George?"

George looks up when Alex enters the on-call room, frowning slightly.

"What's going on?"

"This doesn't go out of this room, okay?"

"Okay…"

"I need your help."

"You… need my help? With what could you possibly need my help?"

"A girl. Well… a woman."

"And you came to me?"

"Hey… you landed Torres, didn't you."

"Yeah…"

"So help me, O'Malley."

"Okay… who's the girl?"

* * *

"Richard?"

Richard Webber looks up when Derek enters his office, nodding curtly.

"I… I need your help."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… I guess you heard about… what happened at the prom."

"I have."

"Richard…"

Derek sits down, eyeing his mentor guiltily.

"I know what I did was wrong, I just… It had to happen."

"What do you want from me, Derek?"

"I need to find a way to win Addison back…"

"You want to win Addie back?"

"Meredith was.. a mistake. I need Addie, Richard. She's the love of my life and… you're like a father to her."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Talk to her… convince her to… wait with the divorce. She'll listen to you, Richard. She always does…"


	4. Chapter 4

**

* * *

**

As always - thanks for the reviews!! Hope you enjoy this chapter... Since I can't decide on whether it should be Addek or Addex, I have put on a poll on my profile and I decided that I was going to make the guy with the most votes get the girl...

But feel free to tell me who you think she should pick and why and I am actually just begging for reviews. Lol.

Hope you enjoy the chapter.

CHAPTER 4

* * *

"Come in!"

Richard Webber looks up when Addison enters his office, flashing her a quick smile.

"Addison."

"You paged me?"

"Yeah… sit down…"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all…"

"Did you want to talk to me about a new case?"

"No."

She quirks an eyebrow, staring at him.

"Okay… so what's going on?"

"I wanted to talk to you as a friend, Addie…"

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

This was not going to be easy, Richard realised as she stared back at him – her eyes devoid of all emotion.

"Come to dinner with me… Us. Tonight. Me and Adele."

"Richard, I don't know…"

"Come on, Addie. Adele misses you. She's barely seen you in the last year, you know how she is."

"You know what… why not. I'd love to come to dinner with you. See you tonight then?"

"Say seven? My place."

"Okay. Thanks, Richard."

"Anytime."

* * *

"Dr Karev."

Alex turns around when Derek enters the on-call room, burrowing his face in the pillow.

"If you don't mind, I want this bed."

Alex looks up at Derek grumpily.

"There's another one. Just above this one. Sleep on that."

"I want this one."

"You can't have it."

"Is this about Addison?"

Alex sits up to look at Derek and the older man frowns.

"Why would this be about Addison?"

"Because you want her back. It's obvious. Oh and you feel threatened by me."

"Why on earth would I feel threatened by you?"

"Because you and I both know that I stand a better chance with Addison than you."

"Oh do we now?"

"Please. You screwed Meredith while Addie was down the hall. I stand a way better chance than you."

"Just so you know, Dr Karev… Addison and I will get back together. It's just a matter of time. We've gone through rough patches before and we always find our way back to each other. Because we're Derek and Addison."

"Please. She deserves way better than you."

"And you think you're way better than me? You think Addison would ever be serious about you?"

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"Because, Karev, the two of you have nothing in common! Addison is like seafood and cocktails while you're like pizza and beer. She is out of your league."

"You know what, Dr Shepherd… I might not be good enough for Addison. I'm an ordinary guy and she is the most extraordinary woman I have ever met. But there's one thing I can give her that you can't."

"Oh? What might that be?"

"The promise that she'll never become invisible to me. I will never stop seeing her the way you did. And you have no guarantee that it's not going to happen again. If she takes you back. So… good day Dr Shepherd."

With that, Alex lies back on the bed, burying his face in the pillow again.

Derek lifts his chin angrily before storming out to the hall, causing Alex to smirk.

* * *

As luck would have it,

Addison passes the on-call room just as he exits it and he lunges forward, grabbing her arm.

"Derek what are you…"

He cuts her off by fusing his lips to hers, softly biting down on her lower lip. Addison moans slightly before responding to the kiss, her arms locking around his neck. Derek smiles against her lips before picking her up and dragging her inside the on-call room, pushing her against the door before continuing to kiss her.

Alex stares at the kissing couple, unable to form a coherent sentence. He finally clears his throat, causing Addison to push Derek away and look at him in slight horror.

"Alex…"  
He laughs, looking at Derek smugly.

"Wow, Shepherd. That's a low blow."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please. You dragged Addison in here, kissing her, because you knew it'd get to me. All because I didn't want to move from the bed?"

Addison gasps, looking at Derek in shock.  
"Derek?"

"Addie, I don't know what he's talking about."

"Addison, you saw him coming out of the on-call room. He knew I was here."

"Addie…"

She stares at them quietly.

Derek. Alex. Alex. Derek.

Suddenly the walls are coming closer, suffocating her, pushing the two men closer and…

She starts running, up the stairs, more stairs… just running until she finally reaches the roof, falling down on her knees, her body jerking with sobs.

"Addison? Are you okay?"

* * *

"You really thought you won?"

Alex looks at Derek smugly and the latter glares at the intern.

"I can't believe you did that."

"What did you think was going to happen, Shepherd? That I was just going to sit here and watch you make out with her?"

"Well, since she's my wife and you have no say in her life…"

"Your wife? Oh, now she's your wife again. You don't love her."

"You don't know how I feel."

"Yes I do. You don't love her. If you did, you wouldn't have screwed Meredith. You wouldn't have pursued Meredith while you promised Addison the two of you were going to make things right."

"I'm trying now."

"Yeah. Because you can't handle her moving on."

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's true. You don't love her. You just don't want her to be happy."

"I want her to be happy. I want her to be happy with me. She'll never be happy with anyone else. Not like we were."

"Yeah, you were so happy she slept with your best friend."

"You have no idea what the circumstances was, so shut the hell up about that, Karev!"

"Ooh. Hit a nerve there."

"Shut up."

"And if your love was so strong, if she loved you so much that she couldn't be happy with anyone else… why did she call my name last night? Multiple times."

"Her mouth might have been calling your name. But her heart was calling mine."

"Yeah? Like you have any idea what's going on in her heart."

"I know Addison like you'll never know her. I know what she's thinking when her brow is creased, when she's biting her lip and when she's quirking an eyebrow. I know the click of her heels. And I know what's in her heart every time I feel her lips on mine. I know her, Karev."

"I can learn."

"You can try. But you'll never know her like I do. Never."

He nods curtly before walking out, closing the door behind him. Alex frowns standing up and putting his lab coat on angrily.

It was no use trying to sleep now.

Not anymore.

* * *

"They're both just… making it so hard and I don't know what to do, how to react anymore… And I don't know why I'm unloading all of this on you,

Preston… I am so sorry."

Burke smiles, reaching out to squeeze her hands.

"I can't tell you who to choose, Addison. Just… listen to your heart."

"Well you're the expert when it comes to hearts… how do I know what my heart is saying?"

"When you know… you'll know."

"Seriously? That's all I'm getting from you?"

"That's all I can give you."

She sighs, slowly standing up.

"Thanks, Preston. For listening for… for everything."

"Anytime."

She turns to leave, but at the last second turns back to him, lifting a brow.

"Why are you up here?"

"I'm trying to figure out a way to propose."

"You're going to propose to Cristina?"

"Yeah. I just… need to figure out what I want to say."

Addison gives him a small smile, quirking her brow.

"Say what's in your heart."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

_Okay, so I might slowly be starting to lean towards one of the couples. But knowing me, that might change. Still - I'm going to base my decision in the end solely on the poll results since I love both couples. BTW do you want me to tell you who the front runner is or what?_

* * *

"Dr Mont… Addison?"

Addison closes her eyes, sighing when she hears Alex's voice behind her.

"Alex."

"Can we… talk?"

She turns, arching a brow.

"About?"

"About what happened…"

"When, Karev?"

He sighs, taking her hand and dragging her into a supply closet.

"Okay, here's the deal. I don't know you."  
"What are you…"

"I don't know what it means when you quirk your brow, okay? I don't know what it means when you're biting down on your lower lip or… putting a strand of hair in behind your ear or… I don't know that and Derek does. But I do know that I will never stop seeing you. I know that you seem so confident all the time, but deep down you're just as scared as any other person out there. I know that you chose neonatal because you want to give babies the chance to start their lives. And I know the way your eyes look when you're sleepy and satiated and in the arms of someone who cares about you. All I want… is a chance to get to know every part of you that I don't know yet."

"I…"  
"Derek knew you, Addison. He knew all of you and he stopped seeing you. I don't even know everything yet, and I know that I'll never stop seeing you. Because… because you make me feel alive when I hold you."

"Alex…"

"Look, you don't have to say anything right now. But sooner or later, you're going to have to make a choice. Is it okay for me to ask you to give me a fair chance?"

She leans forward, softly brushing her lips against his.

"Yeah… I'll give you a fair chance."

"So… want to go out to dinner tonight?"

She sighs, resting her hand against his cheek tenderly.

"I'd love to. But I already promised Richard I'd have dinner with him and Adele."

"Okay… lunch then."

Addison smiles brightly, nodding.

"Lunch sounds good."

He grins, brushing his lips against hers again.

"Well… is the hospital cafeteria okay? As much as I'd like to do better at the moment…"  
Addison laughs, shaking her head.

"The hospital cafeteria is fine. Come on…"

She casually slips her fingers through his, smiling when his hand curls around hers protectively. Alex holds her back for a second, staring into her eyes sincerely.

"Addison… I meant what I said. I'm not a relationship kind of guy, but you… you're different. I… I don't know, I guess I've just never felt this way before."

"I just…"  
He holds his hands up in the air, shaking his head.

"You don't have to… say anything. Not yet anyway."

"Thank you."

She rests her head against his chest for a few seconds, listening to his heartbeat, realising that she could easily love this man.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"For the record… I really hope that some day I can say the same to you. Because nothing would make me more… proud and ecstatic than loving you."

"What are you saying?"

"That I really… want to love you. If that makes sense."  
Alex grins, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

"It does."

"Thank you."  
She leans forward, kissing him tenderly. Alex grins against her lips before slowly pulling her out of the supply closet again.

"Come on, let's go. Before I do something you might regret later."

She looks at him huskily, quirking a brow.

"What makes you think I'll regret it?"

He smiles softly.

"Until you know that you have feelings for me… I'm going to try holding off on… that."

"Wow."

"Yeah…"

She grins, winking at him.

"Well, Karev… that might possibly be the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

* * *

Derek looks up when he notices a flash of red, his jaw tightening when he notices Karev holding her hand. And Addison not objecting to it. He glares while they sit down next to each other, Karev playfully stealing one of her fries, Addison taking a sip of his Pepsi and pulling a face at him.

He jumps up, leaving his tray behind and rushing to Richard's office.

Richard frowns when his office door flies open and Derek enters, his eyes blazing.

"You have to do something about Addie and that… that intern."

"What happened?"

"They… they came into the cafeteria together, holding hands and flirting and… staring at each other… it was sickening. You need to do something, Richard… please."

Richard sighs, looking at the jealous man in front of him quietly.

"I've invited Addison over to dinner tonight."  
"Oh?"

"At the risk of her… never speaking to me again… would you join us?"

Derek immediately lightens up, grinning ecstatically.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Thanks. I'll be there."

Richard nods, sighing.

"See you at seven."

* * *

"Look at them. They look… happy. It's disgusting."

Cristina stares at Addison and Alex, shuddering.

"Satan and Evil Spawn. How original."

Izzie shrugs, her mouth forming a thin line.

"Like it'll last."

George frowns, looking at Izzie reproachfully.

"Izzie!"

"What?"

"He really cares about her. Maybe it could work out between them."

Izzie rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

"Please. She's like a decade older than he is."  
"She's not that much older than him. Besides, if she makes him happy, then shouldn't you be happy too?"

"Why would I be happy? She's only going to use him and then throw him away like the spider she is."

George takes his tray, standing up.

"I'm going to sit with Callie."

"Fine."

He walks off and Izzie shrugs, glaring at Addison and Alex. Meredith suddenly sighs, staring at the pair as well.

"I don't get it."

"You don't get what?"  
"What's so great about her? I mean… we're both young and… she's older and… why would Alex and Derek both want _her?_ I mean… sure she's nice and kind and smart and gorgeous, but she's not that great. Not really."

"Derek wants her back?"

Izzie looks at Meredith in shock and the latter nods sadly.

"He told me last night. He wants to try again. With her."

"Wow… Mer, I am so sorry."  
Meredith smiles sadly, shrugging.

"He promised that it was going to be me this time. But he lied."

"I'm really sorry."  
Meredith shrugs, staring out in front of her blankly.

"I'll get over it. Over him."  
Izzie sighs, shooting Alex a silent look.

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

"And then the cat ran up the tree and my sister was begging me to get him out, only I wouldn't because my arms were bleeding from the scratches and my face was bleeding from the scratches and still… she kept begging me to get the cat out of the tree before she would ask my mom for something to clean the scratches with."

Addison's eyes widen slightly as she stares at Alex, and she grins.

"So what did you do?"

He shrugs, smirking.

"Well, being my little sister's hero, I climbed up the tree, took off my shirt and covered the cat with it before starting to climb down. And everyone was happy."  
Addison grins, shaking her head.

"I wish I could see that."  
"Oh? So you could laugh at me?"

"Well maybe."  
He pouts slightly and suddenly she's unable to stop staring at his mouth as he starts telling another childhood story. She shakes her head slightly when he reaches over to touch her arm, blushing.

"Sorry, I… spaced out."  
"I noticed. Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah. Everything is… great, as a matter of fact."  
"Really?"

"Yeah. So… about that dinner invitation…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you planning on repeating it for another night? Say… tomorrow."

Alex suddenly grins, nodding enthusiastically.

"I am."

"So…"  
"So, I'll invite you. Don't worry your gorgeous head about it."

"Ooh…"  
Alex suddenly frowns and Addison looks at him curiously.

"Alex? What's wrong?"  
"It's just… Derek… said something…"  
She rolls her eyes, sighing.

"What did he say now?"

"That you would never take me seriously."

Addison leans forward, entwining her fingers with his.

"Alex… Just so you know, Derek… doesn't know me as well as he thinks."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So you'd… really take me seriously?"

"I would."


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

CHAPTER 6

* * *

Thanks again for all the feedback. I hope you're all still enjoying this and since the previous chapter was a bit more for the Addex fans, this one is for the Addek fans...

I own nothing.

* * *

Adele Webber looks up when there's a knock on the door, her face breaking out in a grin. She looks at Derek and Richard slyly.

"That would be Addison."

Derek stands up, tugging at his shirt nervously.

"Should I…"  
"You stay here, darling. I'll get it."

Derek sits down again, taking a rather large gulp of his Scotch, his eyes fixated on the door where Addison would appear any second now. He gasps softly when she appears in the door, looking simply breathtaking in a figure fitting green dress, ending just above her knees, her red locks falling around her shoulders in loose curls. He stands up, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Addie…"

Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees him, a frown appearing between her brows.

"Derek?"

"Hi."

"What… what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for dinner."

She looks at Richard tiredly and he smiles sheepishly.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

She nods, holding her hand out, quickly tossing down the wine before holding it out to Richard again. Richard simply nods before turning to pour some more and Derek turns to Addison.

"You shouldn't drink that fast, Addie."

"You shouldn't talk to me, Derek. If I want to get through tonight, I really need to be drunk. Completely drunk."

"Addison… we can talk."

"What would you want to talk about?"

He moves closer to her, resting his hand against her cheek.

"Us."

She steps away quickly, his familiar scent intoxicating her, making her head spin and she closes her eyes, feeling herself trembling under his touch.

"Derek…"

"Come on, Addison. You know that… deep down, there's still something between us."

"Yeah, Derek. Deep down, but Derek… I'm not willing to take that chance again. Not with you."  
"Addison, I made a mistake. We both made mistakes."

"Yeah. And those mistakes can't be retracted."

"We can work through them."

"Can we?"

Derek sighs, resting his forehead against Addison's.

"Yes. We can. I know that."

"I don't."

"Listen to your heart, Addie. If there's still any space for me in it… then you owe it to me and to yourself to give us another chance."

"I'm scared, Derek. I don't want to get hurt again."

"I won't hurt you again, Addison, I promise."

"You made that promise once before, didn't you?"

She pulls away from him, her eyes shining with tears.

"Derek, I need a new start, a new life."

"With Karev?"

"If Alex… happens to be someone I can share my life with then yes."

"He's an intern, Addison!"

"It's been done before."

He jerks his head back as though she slapped him, hurt evident in his eyes.

"Addie…"

"Can you blame me, Derek?"

"I guess not."

They are spared further strained conversation when Adele coughs lightly, noting that dinner is served. Derek looks at Addison longingly, wanting nothing more than to put his arms around her waist and walk to the table with her.

But he doesn't.

For the first time in a long time, he really thinks about what Addison would want. And he keeps his distance.

* * *

To Addison's surprise, the dinner turns out to be quite enjoyable with Derek being the perfect gentleman. She catches him sneaking longing glances at her every now and again, but at least he didn't say anything. Instead they all made useless small-talk. About the weather. About patients. About Adele's magnificent soufflé recipe. Not once did they mention marital problems, love or interns. It felt like old times, when they were still residents, having dinner with their mentor and his wife. And it scared her a bit – the thought of how easy it was to forget everything that's happened and just be with him, enjoy his presence…

* * *

He walks her to her car at the end of the night, suddenly spinning her around, his lips meeting hers, pressing her back to the car as soon as they reach it and Addison can't do anything but kiss him back, her arms snaking around his neck. And it was wrong, so wrong…

But it was Derek… and he was _her _Derek again and he was holding her and kissing her like he loved her again and she wanted to keep on feeling like this forever…

* * *

Derek pulls away from her after a few minutes, resting his forehead against hers, panting slightly.

"Addie… Spend the night with me."

"Excuse me?"

She looks at him, anger at his forward request starting to boil in her, but he shakes his head.

"I don't… I don't mean sex or anything. I just… want to hold you tonight."

"Derek… I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because… we're getting a divorce. And there's Alex and…"

He presses his finger to her lips, his eyes begging.

"It was a good night, Addie."

"It was."  
"Let it just be us tonight."

"I can't."

"Come on, it's not like you and Karev will ever be serious."

"What?"

She looks at him angrily and he steps even closer to her, capturing her lips and letting his arms encircle her waist.

"He's another Mark, Addie. You don't want someone like that. You deserve so much better."  
She pulls away from him, frowning slightly.

"I hope you don't mean yourself."

Derek shakes his head sadly, resting his hand against her cheek.

"No. I wish I did, but… you… the truth is, I'm not good enough for you. I never was."

"Derek…"

Damn, he was good at playing pathetic. He'd always been good at that and even though she knew it was manipulative and pathetic… she somehow always found herself falling for it. And before she really knows what she's doing, she's stepping forward and her arms are snaking around his neck and she is kissing him. And then they're pulling away and he's looking at her like he's always looked at her and she gets into his car silently, all the while knowing that she'd regret it later…


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

**

* * *

**

**So it's kind of a miracle that I'm even posting it. Because Grey's is ruined for me and I am so over it. I will now live in fanfic world alone. **

**I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be so... upset... with Shonda and her... creative suicide.**

* * *

Addison awakens at the annoying sound of an alarm clock, her head feeling like it's about to explode. She rolls over to shut the clock up, freezing when she rolls into a body. She takes a deep breath before sitting up, the headache increasing slightly as she moves.

* * *

"Addie, could you get the damn alarm?"

She reaches over blankly when Derek's muffled voice begs her to and stares at him until he looks at her tiredly.

"I can feel your eyes burning holes into my back."  
"Did we… Please tell me we didn't…"

"Have sex?"

She whimpers slightly and Derek grins.

"Wild jungle sex, babe."  
"Nooooooo…"

He laughs, reaching out to wipe a strand of hair out of her face.

"Would it be that bad?"

"Actually… yes. It would."  
He rolls his eyes, pushing his body of the bed and wrapping his arms around her tenderly.

"Sweetie, you passed out before we even reached the trailer. And as much as I'd like to have sex with you at the moment, having sex with someone who is passed out is just way too creepy."

"So… we didn't?"

"Would I take advantage of you like that?"

"No… no, you wouldn't."  
"Exactly."

He leans over, brushing his lips against hers quickly.

"I'd ask you to join me for a shower, but I have a feeling the answer would be no."

Addison arches a brow, staring at him sarcastically.

"My my, Dr Shepherd. You are quite skilled with guesses."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Oh, would I ever?"

He grins, brushing his lips against hers again.

"I'll be five minutes then the shower is all yours. Coffee?"

She nods, getting up.

"I'll just be in this beautiful big kitchen of yours making some."

"Who knew you could be so domesticated. Making coffee and all…"

"Shut up."  
He laughs, his eyes meeting hers. Addison smiles against her own will, nodding at him slightly.

"Hurry up with that shower."

"I will."

He disappears into the bathroom and Addison slowly turns the kettle on, frowning slightly.

Somehow… it was like New York.

Like it was before Mark.

The friendly banter, flirting…

But then there was Alex and… She sits down, sighing deeply.

"This… is a mess. A huge and awful… mess."

* * *

As luck would have it, Alex is the first person she sees when she arrives at the hospital. Unfortunately for her, this happens while she is getting out of Derek's car. She groans slightly when she notices him spinning around and rushing into the hospital, looking at Derek quietly.

"I just… I have to talk to him, Derek."

"What… what are you going to stay?"

She sighs, resting her head against Derek's chest.

"I wish I knew."

"Addie… I love you. But you can't keep doing this to us. Sooner or later… you're going to have to choose."

She pulls away and nods, staring at him.

"I know. But I'm going to take my time in deciding."

"Why?"

"I want to make the right decision, Derek. Or do you want me to say I choose you and long after Alex every second of every day? And then have sex with him at the hospital and…"

"Are you ever going to forgive me for that?"

"Yes… I just… I don't want to make the same mistake you did, Derek. I don't want to make the wrong choice."  
He grabs onto her hand, pulling her flush against his chest.

"I didn't. I made the right choice the first time."

"Look, I… I have to talk to Alex. I owe it to him."  
"Are you in love with him?"

"I… don't know. I could be."

"Are you still in love with me?"

Addison sighs, closing her eyes.

"I don't know, Derek. I just… don't know."

She gives him a sad smile before rushing after Alex, hoping that she would at least get him to listen to her.

* * *

"Alex! Alex, wait, please, just…"

He finally stops, turning to face her. Addison flinches at the look of hurt in his eyes, biting down on her lower lip sadly.

"Alex…"  
"Dinner with the Webbers, huh?"

"He was there… I had no idea he was going to be there, Alex, I swear."

"You went home with him?"

"I wish I could…deny it, but…"  
"You did."  
"I'm sorry…"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No!"

"But… you came home with him. Are you… why?"

Addison looks at the nurses nearby, desperately trying to catch something of the conversation and reaches out, grabbing Alex's hand.

"Look, can we have this discussion somewhere… alone?"  
"Fine."

He leads her to an empty on-call room, closing the door behind them.

"So?"

"Look, I… I was upset that Derek was there, I…"

"Sure looks like it."  
"Could you give me a chance to explain here?"  
He scoffs, sitting down on the bed.

"Fine."

"I… guess I had a few too many and… we were talking and it wasn't that nice. And then it was and… I went to the trailer with him, but Alex, I swear… nothing happened."

"Nothing?"

"You have to believe me. I wouldn't do that to you… Nothing happened."

"Okay."  
"Are… are we good?"

"I guess… but Addison, you… you can't string both of us along. It's him or me."  
"I know. I know I have to make that choice, I just… I want to be sure."

"Okay."

"You… you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I mean… the two of you do have a history."

"We do."

"Just promise me something…"

"What?"

He pulls her a bit closer, brushing his lips against her forehead.

"When you know… you have to tell both of us. Immediately."

"I will."

She leans up, trying to kiss him but he pulls away – much to her surprise.

"Alex?"

"Look, I just… I can't do that right now."  
"You can't kiss me?"

"No. I just… need some time."

"I thought you understood?"

"I do. That's what makes this so hard. The fact that… you don't know if I'm enough."

He leaves before she can say another word and Addison falls down on one of the beds, her body shaking with silent tears.


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews and sadly I still don't own anything. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

* * *

"Karev."

Alex turns when he hears Derek's voice behind him, a hint of lazy confidence hidden in the fake sympathy. He storms forward angrily, grabbing the fronts of Derek's labcoat.

"You stay away from her, you hear me?"  
Derek laughs arrogantly, not the least bothered by the threatening look on Alex's face.

"You really think you have the right to tell me to stay away from my wife, Karev?"

"Like she's going to be your wife for long. I'm warning you. Butt out of our life."  
"Your life?"

"Addison and I are together. We don't need you messing with our relationship."

Derek laughs, pushing Alex away from him roughly.

"It didn't bother her last night, Karev. Not when we were at dinner with the Webbers. Not when we were in the trailer and she was lying in my arms and…"

Before Derek can finish his sentence, Alex rushes forward, grabbing his lab coat and pushing him up against the wall.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"  
"Why, am I upsetting the little intern?"

"Shut up!"  
"Go to the pit, Karev."

"Make me."

"Go. To. The. Pit. Now."

"Stay away from Addison."

"She's my wife."

"She's my girlfriend."

"Wife trumps girlfriend."

"Intern trumps asshat."

"Karev, go the pit."  
"I won't."

"She'll pick me, you know. In the end, we always get back together. You're not good enough for her."

Derek feels his head hitting the wall as Alex punches him. Again and again and again and then he is punching back and their rolling on the floor, punching and kicking and…

"Stop it, both of you! Derek! Alex!"

They yank away from each other, staring at Addison guiltily. Derek gets up first, approaching her quickly.

"Addie…"  
Alex is right behind him, looking at her sorrowfully.

"Addison…"  
"No. Get away from me. Both of you. I'm done. I'm done with both of you. You act like I'm some prize, something you can fight over and the winner gets it. Just… leave me alone."

She rushes off and Derek and Alex stare at her disappearing figure sadly. They jump when Bailey speaks behind them, her voice angrier than he had ever heard it.

"Now, would you mind telling me what the hell you two fools were thinking?"

* * *

"I can not have two members of my staff fighting in the hallway, rolling around on the ground in full view of anyone passing by! Do you have any idea what it does to the image of this hospital? Can you tell me what you were thinking? Karev? You realise you're risking suspension from the program?"

Alex looks at Richard confidently, his chin lifted.

"With all due respect, sir. She's worth it."

Derek nods quickly.

"He's right, Richard. I'd do it all over again and not change a single punch. Unless this had driven Addie away from me, I don't care about any of the other consequences."

Richard stands up, glaring at the two doctors angrily.

"Well, whether you care or not. Here is the next consequence. Karev, you will be Shepherd's intern for the next month and I mean it, month. Neither of you are allowed to work with any other doctor. You will act like conjoined twins and not leave each other's side. Is that clear?"

"But I…"

"Dr Webber…"

"I SAID IS THAT CLEAR?"

"Yes, dr Webber."

Derek lifts his hand like a nervous school boy, staring at his mentor uncertainly.

"What is it, Shepherd?"

"It's just… I'm working on a serious case with Ad… Dr Montgomery and… when you say no other doctors…"

Richard rolls his eyes, sighing.

"Shep, you're a neurosurgeon. Use the brains you have. You don't get to pick another intern and Karev doesn't get to work with any other attending unless you're present."

"I see… then… if that's all…"

"Yes. It is. Now get out of my office."

* * *

"Addie, you're going to have to get out of there sooner or later."  
"I refuse."

"Addison!"

Miranda Bailey sighs, staring at the closed door.

"Look, just ignore the McIdiots and face the world. This isn't you, hiding like this."

"I'm not hiding."  
"Oh, you're hiding. Come on, get out here."

Addison finally opens the door, facing Bailey grumpily.

"Happy?"

"Ecstatic. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Stop lying."

"Okay, Miranda. I am not fine. I'm not fine at all. I'm a mess because there are two men out there who are making complete fools of themselves and whenever I'm with one of them, I'm sure I love him until I'm with the other one and right now, I just hate both of them and nothing would make me happier than them either disappearing or falling for each other and leaving me alone."

Bailey lifts a brow, looking at the redhead with a glint in her eyes.

"Now somehow I don't see that happening soon."

Addison laughs despite herself and Bailey looks at her friend comfortingly.

"Let's go. It's time for lunch."

"Miranda, I can not go out there. I can not go to the cafeteria, not when I know everyone's going to be staring at me and…"  
"Now is this the Addison Montgomery everyone told me about? The ruler of all that is evil, Satan? Because this doesn't seem like her."

Addison sighs, lifting her chin slightly.

"You know what… You're right. Screw them. All of them. I don't need them. I don't need the gossipy interns and I certainly do not need Derek Shepherd or Alex Karev. Screw them!"

"Now that's the Addison I was talking about! Come on. Show them that you're fine without them and you don't need those fools to make asses of themselves!"

"You're right. I am not going to allow either of them to piss on my parade. Not anymore."

* * *

"I don't want to work with you, you know."

Derek looks at Alex antagonistically and Alex returns the stare.

"I'm not exactly thrilled to be working with you either, Shepherd."  
"Good. As long as we understand each other."

Derek smirks, lifting a brow.

"Oh and Karev… you should warn your girlfriend that you are going to be very busy for the next month. You probably won't have time for dating… like she'll want to go on a date with you after today."

He laughs maliciously, heading out to the cafeteria and leaving a seething Alex behind.


	9. Chapter 9

I know I am simply horrible for not updating in so long! But I blame it on a very busy time at uni and a wonderful love life... But anyway, here is the next part. Hope you like and if you haven't already voted in the poll about who Addison should end up... go take a look at it. Yours might be the deciding vote.

Anyway. I own nothing. Here goes.

* * *

CHAPTER 9

* * *

"Addie…"

Addison groans, pointedly staring at the food in front of her and Bailey sighs, looking at Derek.

"Shepherd. Leave."

"Miranda, I just want to talk to her."  
"Does she look like she wants to talk to you? You made a fool out of yourself and her. Did you really think she was going to be pleased with what you and Karev did?"

"Look, Richard's already given us the talk. I do not need it from you too!"

"Excuse me? Who you think you're talking to, Shepherd?"  
"Do I need to remind you that technically… I am your boss?"

"Yes. But I'm Addison's friend and I won't have you screwing around with my friend. Despite the fact that… technically… you are my boss."

"Look, Dr Bailey, I didn't mean to offend you or anything… but this is none of your business."

Miranda glares at the older surgeon and Addison suddenly looks up, a deathly emptiness in her eyes.

"That's enough, Derek."

"Addie…"  
"Don't Addie me. Just… leave me alone."

* * *

"How do I do this, George? How do I make up to her?"

"I don't know, Alex. You really screwed up."  
Alex sighs, burying his face in his hands.

"You think I don't know that?"

"Sorry… Look, I can talk to Callie if you want me to? Ask her if she has any ideas…"

"No, she's Addison's friend. She'd want me to stay away from her and I don't blame her one bit. If I was her friend I'd also want me to stay away from her, you know?"

"No."

"No?"

"I don't get what you're saying."  
Alex rolls his eyes, sighing.

"I'm saying that… if Izzie was in this situation, if a guy treated her like Derek and I are treating Addison… I wouldn't want him near her."

"So there's your answer."

"What are you talking about, O'Malley?"

"Treat her like you'd want a guy to treat one of your friends. Like Izzie."

"So… I have to be a good guy?"

"Is she worth it?"

"She really is."

"You're falling for her, aren't you?"

Alex stares out in front of him, nodding slowly.  
"I am."

* * *

"Hi. I'd like to order a bouquet… Roses, I think… Something that says… I'm sorry I messed up and you're the love of my life. That sounds perfect. Thank you so much… Yeah. Seattle Grace Hospital. Addison Montgomery. Thank you."

Derek grins, waiting a few seconds before dialling another number.

"Hi, I'd like to talk about you about a gorgeous evening dress I saw in your shop… I'm not sure, it was a backless Armani dress. Green. Yes, I'll hold…"

* * *

"Seriously, Miranda. I'm done with both of them. I don't even care what they do anymore. I honestly just don't care."

Addison enters the elevator confidently, waiting for Bailey to join her.

Bailey steps on, looking at the redhead knowingly.

"Addison."

"What?"  
"We both know that you really do care what those two fools do."

"I don't want to care, Miranda."

"But you do."

"Yeah…"

"Look, Addison… I can't condone what those boys are doing, but what you're doing is stringing them both along. And that's not fair to anyone involved."

"Do you really think this is what I want, Miranda? I… am going out of my mind, trying to figure out what I want, what's best for all of us and… I don't know, okay? For the first time in my life, I am completely clueless about something and on top of that, I can't sleep in my one bed. I toss around wanting to be with either Derek or Alex, only I don't know which one it is. So please. Stop telling me what I'm doing wrong. Because I know. And I'm trying. I'm really trying."

"Okay."

Addison looks at Miranda with a small frown, surprised by the woman's demure response.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Thanks, Miranda…"  
"Anytime…"

* * *

"Hi, this is Derek Shepherd. I'd like to make a reservation for two… tonight at eight. Thank you very much. Bye."

Derek puts the phone down, grinning brightly.

He was taking out all the stops.

And she was worth it.

* * *

"Karev."

Alex groans when he hears Derek's cheerful voice behind him, not even bothering to turn.

"What?"

"Are you on call tonight?"

"No."

"Well you are now. I need you to stay here and monitor Mr Jenkins."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Great. Oh and if there are any problems, I need you to page Dr Marx. Addison and I are going out and I'm not taking my pager."

Alex finally spins around, facing Derek.

"You're lying."  
"I'm not that immature."

"She wouldn't go out with you. Not tonight."

"She would and she is. See you later, Karev."

He practically swirls out of the room and Alex growls, wanting nothing more than to slam his fist into the wall with all his might.

But he doesn't. Instead, he returns his attention to the chart in front of him, simply focusing on breathing.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for all the reviews! So... I am almost done with this. Working on the last chapter so obviously Addison has made her choice... And it's based on the votes so...

I dont own anything.

Enjoy.

* * *

CHAPTER 10

"Dr Montgomery…"

"Yeah?"

Addison looks up when she hears Izzie's voice, lifting a brow when she notices the flowers and package in her hands.

"Can I help you, Stevens?"

"Yeah… this was delivered for you."  
"Oh… eh… thank you, Stevens."  
She takes it, hurrying to an on-call room as fast as her heels would allow her. She puts the flowers down on the bed and quickly starts opening the package, gasping when she holds the silky green dress in her hands, admiring it breathlessly.

"You like?"  
She can't stop a smile when she hears Derek's voice behind her.

"It's exquisite."

"When I saw it… I immediately thought of you."  
"Thank you, Derek."

She quickly wipes the smile from her face, turning to look at him coolly.

"You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to."

"Is this your way of apologizing for being an idiot?"

"Well… this is the start."

"Oh yeah?"

He grins, closing the door behind him.

"I'm picking you up tonight. Half past seven. Be ready. Wear this."  
"I can't."  
He smiles at her dreamily, winking slightly.

"Yes… you can."  
"Derek…"  
"See you tonight, Addie."

He leaves with a wink and Addison sighs, slowly sitting down on the bed, still holding the dress gracefully.

* * *

"McMoron!"

Derek freezes when he hears Bailey's voice behind him, slowly turning.

"Yes?"  
"I hear you have Karev as your intern for the next month or whatever."

"Yes."  
"And you think that's punishment enough for you?"

"Yes."

"I disagree."

"I don't care."

Bailey lifts a brow, staring at Derek and he shrinks back, trying to hold his composure.

"Look… I'm your boss."  
"And she's my friend."  
"Dr Bailey… Miranda… I screwed up, okay? I realise that… I screwed up completely. I love her. And… if not being with her isn't punishment enough, then what is?"

Bailey shakes her head, her heart not melting whatsoever at his sincere words.

"I don't care about that. What I care about is my intern and my friend."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go and apologize to Richard, Addison and Karev. Then I want you to make life easy for my friend. Which means no confusing her, no harassing her and doing all the scut you can get your hands on."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I already talked to Richard and he agrees. Now go to the pit, Shepherd and make yourself useful. Stop being McDreamy. Stop being McAnything and be a doctor!"

Derek stares at the doctor in awe.

"I have a date tonight."  
"Not anymore you don't. Now go."

Derek glares at her before rushing away, intent on finding Addison – until he hears Bailey's voice behind him.

"Don't bother looking for her, Shepherd. She already knows the date is off."

He stops for a few seconds, biting down on his lower lip before leaving.

* * *

"Addison?"

Addison looks up when Bailey enters the on-call room, yawning.

"What time is it?"

"Six."

"Oh. Great, I can go home and relax."  
"Hmm. Don't you have a date with a McDreamy surgeon?"

Addison rolls her eyes, groaning.

"It's not like he gave me a choice."

"Don't worry. The date is off."

"What?"

"He's in the pit. Doing scut."  
"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Miranda, you are my hero."

"A lot of people say that on a daily basis. I'm going to pretend I don't care."

Addison laughs, gripping her friends' hand tightly.

"Thank you."

"Were you really looking up to this so much?"

"Yes! Why?"

"Because even if he didn't give you a choice about saying yes… it's not like he could have forced you to pitch up."

Addison sighs, closing her eyes.

"You don't get it, Miranda. You don't get him. Whenever I am with him, I just… he's a master at manipulation."

"And you're allowing it."

"I've been allowing it my whole life through."

"Then it's time to stop! You're one of the foremost surgeons in the country, you're one of the favourites for Chief if Richard ever decides to retire. Don't let Derek manipulate you!"

"I just… It's not that simple, Miranda…"

"Not that simple? Now, you've got two men fighting over you and you're letting both of them treat you like a trophy. You're better than that!"

"What should I do, Miranda? How should I figure out which one I love?"

"I just… think you need to listen to your heart."

"I'm trying. But I have no clue… what's going on in my heart. I just…"

She looks away, tears forming in her eyes.

"I love Derek, Miranda. But he hurt me. He literally… ripped my heart in pieces. And Alex… he was there to pick them up. He picked up the pieces and he put them back together. How am I supposed to forget that?"

"Addison…"  
Addison shakes her head, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks.

"I know. I'm stringing both of them along and I know it's horrible. I just… I don't want to make the same mistake Derek did. I don't want to make a choice and change my mind later and… I can't do that to either of them."

"I understand."

"Is it possible, Miranda? To love to people at once?"

"I… don't know. I really don't."

* * *

"Alex?"

Alex looks up when George appears in the locker room, his eyes dead.

"What do you want, O'Malley?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"  
"Leave it, Bambi!"

George frowns, turning to leave and Alex sighs, closing his eyes.

"George. Wait."  
"What?"

"Addison is on a date with Derek, so… I'm just… a little upset."

"She's on a… that can't be."

"What?"

"She can't be on a date with Shepherd."  
"Why not?"

George frowns, looking at the door and then back at Alex.

"Because… he's in the pit. Doing scut."

"What? Now?"

"Yes, now. I just saw him."

George smiles when he sees hope lighting up in Alex's eyes, sitting down next to him.

"You really like her, don't you?"

"I love her. I… love her so much and…"

"Does she know?"

"No."

"Tell her."

"I can't do that."  
George looks at Alex seriously, frowning lightly.

"Alex… if you love her. She should know."

Alex thinks for a minute before suddenly smiling.

"You know what? You're right. She should know!"

He lifts a brow when Alex stands up, walking to the door instantly.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think? I'm going to tell her!"

"Right now?"

"Yes. Right now."


	11. Chapter 11

Wow. I can't believe it. This is the end. It feels like such a long time ago I started this fic... but I seriously hope you like the end and... it was all in the votes. I have to admit, at certain times I was rooting for Derek and at others for Alex. But in the end, I agree with the votes. I feel like this is the choice Addison would have made. Sorry to the people who supported the guy who didn't get picked though...

Hope you enjoy the last chapter. There might even be an epilogue... we'll see!

Don't own them.

CHAPTER 11

Addison groans when there's a knock on her hotel room door, fairly sure that it's Derek, there to pressure her again. She lifts a brow when she notices Alex standing there, her heart beating a bit faster at once.

"Alex?"  
"I love you."

"What?"

She takes a step back, her wide eyes fixated on his face and he groans.

"I had a speech. I planned a whole speech and… I just blew it all."

Addison smiles, opening the door a bit wider.

"You want to come in?"

"I… yeah. Yeah I do."

He flashes her a nervous smile, following her inside and sitting down on the sofa uncomfortable. She sits down next to him, looking at him earnestly.

"So… Can I hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"The speech you planned."

He thinks for a minute before shaking his head.

"No."

"No?"

"No. Because… planning something like this is stupid. Planning makes it all fake and put together to achieve a goal and… I'm not trying to achieve anything here, Addison. I never thought that I'd fall in love with you. I never thought I'd even have a chance with someone like you, not ever. There are things in my past, things happened and it scared me to love. Prevented me to love. I built this wall around me and I swore I'd never let anyone in. Then you came along and for the first time in my life… I wanted to let someone in. You just… broke down every barrier I had put there to protect my heart and… You learnt me what love is about, Addie."

"Alex…"  
"If you choose Shepherd… If he's the one who makes you happy… then he's the one I want you to be with."  
"Alex?"

"Because… as much as I want to be with you, as much as I want to be the one to make you happy… if it's him I'll accept him. I don't like him. I think he's an ass. But if being with him makes you happy… that's all I want Addison. For you to be happy."

There's nothing she can say. No words jump to mind, no witty comeback. Nothing. She can't do anything but lean up and kiss him like the world is ending tomorrow.

* * *

"Derek?"

Derek turns around when he hears the whiny voice behind him, slowly turning to face Meredith.

"Dr. Grey."

She looks like he's just slapped her, taking a step back.

"Dr. Shepherd. I just… Dr. Bailey is looking for you."

He can't help but feel at least a little guilty for hurting her, so he sighs, looking at him earnestly.

"Meredith… wait?"

She turns, facing him, her expression unreadable.

"What?"

"I… I'm sorry. For hurting you."

"Hurting me? Which time are we talking about here? The time your wife turned up out of the blue? Or the time you picked her? Or what about the time you slept with me and then picked her over me again?"

"I'm sorry for everything."

"Do you know what you should be sorry for? Coming here in the first place!"

She storms away and Derek sighs, running his hands through his hair. He bumps into George O'Malley on the way and instead of greeting him, the intern simply glares at him sullenly.

"O'Malley?"

"Yes, Dr Shepherd?"

"I… Are you… have you seen my wife?"

George lifts a brow, smirking.  
"No, Dr. Shepherd. I haven't seen Dr. _Montgomery_."

Derek notices the emphasis put on Montgomery and purses his lips.

"Thank you, Dr. O'Malley. Have you seen Karev?"

"Yeah… Earlier. He was on his way to tell someone that he loves her."

"Excuse me?"  
Derek glares at George angrily and the intern shrugs.

"Just telling you what I know, Dr Shepherd."

* * *

"Addison… wait…"  
It takes all Alex's self control to find the courage to slowly push Addison away from him slightly, his breath jagged.

She looks at him with a slight frown, her eyes dark with emotion.

"Why?"  
"I can't do this tonight."

"Alex…"  
"No. It's not fair, not to anyone and…"  
"Alex, I've made my choice…"

"And I get that you're in a difficult situation and I know this is a hard choice to make and all, but I just feel that we have to wait until you've made that choice. Obviously I want to do this because you might choose Shepherd and…"

"I choose you."  
"I get that you loved him and that he was a part of your life for long and… what?"

Addison smiles, softly caressing his cheek.

"I choose you. I love… you."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Is it because I told you that I love you?"

Addison smiles, slowly shaking her head.

"No. It's because I love you."

She kisses him again and they both look up when there is another knock on the door. Addison slowly opens it, sighing when she sees Derek standing in front of her silently.

"Derek…"

"I need you to make a choice, Addison. I want to be with you. I love you and I want you in my life."

"Derek…"

He leans his hand against her cheek, looking at her dreamily.

"We're good together, Addison. We belong together."

"I…"  
"You make me happy."  
Addison sighs, tears forming in her eyes.

"But you don't make me happy, Derek. I guess… you did. Once upon a time. But lately… everything is about you, Derek. It's always about you. You don't love me."

"I do! Addison…"  
"You want me. But… you don't love me like I need to be loved. Like I deserve to be loved. And I… Derek, a part of me will always love you. But that's not enough."

"You… you're choosing Karev?"

"I'm sorry, Derek. I really am, but… Alex… I love him. And he makes me happy."

Derek nods slowly, tears forming in his eyes and Addison sighs, reaching out for his hand.

"Derek…"

"It's okay. You…"

He takes a deep breath, resting his hand against her cheek.

"You deserve to be happy, Addie. And for what it's worth… I wouldn't have chosen me either. I really… screwed up and… you deserve better."

"Thank you."

"I really hope… he makes you happy."

"Thanks."

He hugs her closely, allowing himself to take in her scent for one last time before he walks on and away out of her life… forever.

* * *

Alex looks at Addison seriously when she comes back in, concern etched on his face.

"Should I go? I mean... if you need time on your own..."

She shakes her head, crawling into his arms and resting her head on his chest. Alex wraps his arms around her, closing his eyes and taking in the scent of her hair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm great. Everything is... the way it should be."  
She looks up at him, resting her lips against his for a few seconds.  
"Everything is perfect. I love you, Alex Karev."

"I love you too, Addison. So much."

They kiss again and Alex pulls away after a while, looking at her like she is the only woman in the world.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me a chance to love you."

"Thank you for asking for one."  
They share a sweet smile, before their lips meet again in a kiss, filled with more than passion. Filled with more than love. Filled with a promise of forever.


End file.
